I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you win again, gameday.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
