i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
