I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
