All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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