FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
