Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
