Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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