last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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