We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
