Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
