Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
