I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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