he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
did you just send me my own nude
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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