You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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