i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
