Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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