i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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