I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
