i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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