I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
