If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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