If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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