i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
