Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
