did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
