At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
