Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
