If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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