and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
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