i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
