I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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