Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
