Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
