I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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