sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
