don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
