Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
