what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
