At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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