she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dignity is for republicans.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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