im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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