i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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