he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
God I need to hump something, right now.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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