So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
