I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
