literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
