her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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