i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
