I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
