The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
