Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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