Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize