Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
