Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize