The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
