oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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