so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
40s are totally the cure
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
