I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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