And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize