I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
