you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
